Friday, December 26, 2008

Top Ten Christman Films of All Time


I was having a chat with my wife over our favorite Christmas films.  Her list is a little different from mine, but here is mine for reference sake.

1.  White Christmas

2.  A Christmas Story

3.  Home Alone

4.  Scrooged

5.  The Nightmare Before Christmas

6.  The Little Drummer Boy

7.  The Muppet Christmas Carol

8.  Santa Clause, the Movie

9.  The Grinch (Jim Carrey)

10.  A Charlie Brown Christmas

These are not necessarily in order, nor is this list definitive.  However, these are all timeless classics.  And while I love movies about the Nativity, I have yet to see one that deserves to be on this list.  Most of the Nativity renditions on film are part of larger bio-epics about Christ, and not just Christmas films.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

House Bunny

3/5

Rotten Tomatoes: 41%

So, I'm going to keep this short and sweet. Shelley Darlington (played by Anna Faris of Scary Movie fame) is an ex-playboy bunny that is kicked out of the mansion for being too old. She takes a job as the house mother of a sorority of misfits, and helps them save their chapter from losing their house. She teaches these socially inept girls how to be more, um, bunny-like, and this of course leads to male attention. Male attention leads to more pledges from other girls, and wild parties. Its a classic "nerd transformation" story that we've seen dozens of time. Shelley learns that there's more to relationships than just lust games, and learns to have a conversation with a bloke played by Colin Hanks, who channels his father very effectively. The climax of the film comes when Shelley and her girls save the house, gaining new pledges at last minute after Shelley delivers an awkward speech on inner beauty.

Not the best Happy Madison flick, but I enjoyed it more than Anna Faris's other films. I am so sick of the movie parody genre, its refreshing to see Faris in a comedy that rests upon its own merits, not requiring its viewers to be familiar with a dozen other films in order to get the joke.

I give this film 3/5, not because of its originality, or its clever writing, or its superb acting, but simply because there are far worse films your wife or girlfriend could drag you to. I mean, the female characters in this film are cougars, sorority girls, and playboy bunnies . . . not exactly titans of feminism, unless you count the dog ugly Zeta Alpha Zeta girls in the beginning.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Pineapple Express

2/5

I don't know why so many movie critics are hailing Pineapple Express as the summer's best comedy. The movie stars Seth Rogen in exactly the same character he played in Knocked Up, Superbad, and 40 Year Old Virgin. This stoner comedy is heavy on the cheap laughs, but light on substance.

When Dale Denton (Rogen), a young process server that dresses up in costumes just to mess with his targets minds, witnesses a murder, he and his drug dealer Saul Silver (James Franco) hit the road. The murderers are Ted Jones, a yuppie drug dealer, and Carol, a female cop. The two stoners spend the night in the woods, suffering from paranoia. The next day, they meet with Silver's supplier, Red (Danny McBride), who has already been contacted by two goofy henchmen of Mr. Jones. After a few twists in turns, this druggy buddy movie ends up at a marijuana farm in the middle of nowhere, where Ted Jones and his half-witted goons trade pot shots with the Koreans, another rival drug cartel.

It is conceivable that Rogen was high for the entire pre-production, shooting, and editing of this film. The entire thing is a spoof, defying cliches (i.e. sissy henchmen), but the characters are so predictable that when the film closes in a restaurant as Dale, Saul and Red laugh hysterically about their deranged, newfound friendship, I found myself relieved that it was over.

The one redeemable sequence of the film is the opening, where a top secret military lab is research the effects of marijuana back in the 1950's. Bill Hader plays Private Miller, who is the test subject in question. The commanding officer observes the effects of the pot, calls up a congressman, and yells "Illegal!" A rather funny treatment of the marijuana debate in the United States. But from there it was all downhill, until my wife kept walking in and out to talk to her mother on the phone.

The film didn't put me to sleep, but that's because I was constantly debating whether or not to walk out and sneak into the Dark Knight.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars

3/5 as a feature film
5/5 as a television pilot
4/5 overall

Unlike most of the movie reviewers out there, I understand that Star Wars: The Clone Wars is not a real feature film, but rather, a 98 minute pilot for a new television series. It's not that other movie critics lack this knowledge. Rather, they simply failed to factor this into their calculations.

So, despite the fact that my wife and I saw this on opening day at Rancho 16 in Rancho Mirage, CA, I am judging it as a pilot. Rotten Tomatoes gave it an overall score of 19% as of this writing. This merely means that the majority of the movie critics leaned negative in their reviews of the movie. However, if you actually read the reviews, you will find that most of them had some positive things to say about the film, and that their opinion was only slightly tilted toward the negative. Yahoo! Movies gave it a 4/10, for instance.

Upon the opening credits, viewers are not greeted by the trademark Fox fanfare, but rather the Warner Bros. logo usually tied to DC Comics and Harry Potter flicks. This is the first hint that this film is going to defy our expectations. Next, the opening logos were different than the six "canon" films of the Star Wars saga, and that classic John Williams score was replaced by an upbeat, somewhat Star Wars disco opening. I have seen so many Star Wars fan films rip the opening sequences right out of the prequel trailers, it was nice to see a little ingenuity from director Folini and crew.

Next, we are plunged right into the middle of the action as a 1940's type narrator fills us in on the details. If you've ever been on Indiana Jones the Ride at Disneyland, that black and white video they play 2/3 of the way through the line was what immediately came to mind . . . as I am not exactly in my late 70's, and have only seen those old news reels on the History channel.

The plot of Clone Wars is pretty simple: Jabba the Hutt's son has been kidnapped, and its up to some familiar heroes to save him. There are some interesting twists along the way, as the entire thing ends up being a plot of Count Dooku and the separatists. Essentially, he had the slug kidnapped and tried to frame the Jedi, so that the Confederacy of Independent Systems (CIS) could fly through Hutt space without resistance.

The special effects and action sequences are top notch, even though the animators were going for a caricature effect when designing most of the characters. Most rigid is Obi Wan Kenobi, whose face seems a little stiff. But James Arnold Taylor channels Ewan McGregor so effectively, I thought it was the "old" boy himself. Matt Lanter fell short in the mimickry in his depiction of Anakin, but then again, I'm not sure if Hayden Christensen's performance is something that one would want to reproduce so closely. Unlike the annoying padawan we saw in Attack of the Clones, and the somewhat annoying performance in Revenge of the Sith, this version of Anakin never made me cringe. The chemistry between Anakin and his new apprentive, Ahsoka Tano (voiced by Ashley Eckstein of Disney Channel fame), is actually an improvement on the cardboard performances of Christenson and Portman in Episode II. Perhaps George Lucas should have done the prequels entirely digital, actors included, and hired talented voice actors! Even my wife, who enjoyed the corny romantic dialogue in Attack of the Clones, thought that Anakin and his new padawan had better chemistry. Of course, I'm not sure how the Old Republic and the Jedi Order handled underaged dating . . . but I fully suspect Ahsoka to have a heart breaking crush later on her young master later in the series.

There were at least three lightsaber battles that I can count. Most of them are between Obi Wan, Anakin and Asajj Ventress, though even Ashoka crosses sabers with her for a few seconds. Anakin does have another showdown with Count Dooku on Tattooine, and by now has learned how to deal with all of that annoying Sith Lightning. And Ashoka proves her skill as a fledgling padawan by dueling three of those double-bladed shock staff wielding droid henchmen General Grievous surrounded himself by in Episode III. She is pretty good, too!

Two welcome returns to the universe are Samuel L. Jackson and Anthony Daniels, the voices/actors behind Jedi Master Windu and C3PO respectively. In interviews, Jackson has said that he had always wanted to play a Jedi . . . and he has proven his point by returning for the new Clone Wars series. I very seriously doubt he was paid much for it. And what would our favorite golden cyborg be without Daniels giving him life? Christopher Lee also returned to voice Count Dooku, though he sounds so different in the film I had to check several sources to confirm that it actually was him and not Corey Burton, who also voiced three other parts, and has portrayed Dooku's voice in the animated version of the Clone Wars, as well as in several video games. Overall, I was very pleased with all of the voice acting in the film, with one obvious exception.

About halfway through the film, Padme Amidala (err . . . Skywalker?) shows up, and the plot thickens as she unravels a conspiracy in the Hutt family. Ziro the Hutt, Jabba's uncle, has aligned himself with the Separatists, supplying them with the information they need to kidnap "Stinky" (Ahsoka's nick name for Jabba Jr.), all in an attempt to seize control of the Hutt crime syndicate for himself. The plot is fine, and I enjoyed the betrayal in the crime family. But Zero the Hutt is so uncharacteristic of his race that it's almost a South Park parody rather than an authentic, fully-licensed, George Lucas approved performance. Even this die-hard Star Wars fan found himself laughing at the absurdity of such a character. Unlike his brown skinned, yellow eyed, baritone nephew on Tattooine, Ziro the Hutt is a purple skinned, green eyed, lisping cantina owner on Coruscant with a Louisiana accent and rather drag queen sense of style. I thought that Jar Jar Binks may have been the first homosexual character in the franchise, but there is no doubt in my mind that Ziro is flaming brighter than one of the death star explosions. In every Star Wars video game I have played (i.e. Knights of the Old Republic I and II, Galactic Battlegrounds, etc) where a Hutt character is depicted, they all have Jabba's same baritone voice and Don Corleone attitude. Ziro is so different from his nephew, I would have believed that they were entirely different species of slug. Though what the galaxy would do with another slug race that prefers careers in organized crime, I do not know.

The breakaways in style from the six-film saga are more than made up for by the lighthearted tone of the film. The non-stop banter between the Jedi characters, combined with the exciting action sequences, amplified exponentially by a complete lack of mush (with the possible exception of a humorous scene showing the "soft-side" of Jabba the Hutt), made this film going experience an enjoyable one. I felt as if the the fun of Star Wars had returned, and even though we know where all of the characters are going in the series, it will be a fun ride!

With all of crap on television these days, I am relieved that somebody out there still knows how to do a good serial adventure. George Lucas, despite everything, is still one of the best action adventure guys out there. Even though he was the Executive-Producer, and not the director or writer of the script, I could see his handiwork in nearly every detail. I am actually considering upgrading to DVR for this series alone, though how I present it to my wife will likely involve Grey's Anatomy and Bravo reruns.

By the film's end, I found myself craving another half hour of screen time. The ending felt a little abrupt, but I had to remind myself that it was a pilot, and not an actual Star Wars saga feature. Those coming to the theater to expect a 7th Star Wars film would be sorely disappointed, and I think that sentiment has echoed across the film reviewing community. But I knew what I was getting into when I purchased the tickets, and had already seen all of the negative reviews out there about it. My expectations were low, and I found myself swept up into a renewed infatuation with that galaxy so far far away . . . .

Thursday, August 14, 2008

The Purpose of the this Blog

Essentially, I wanted a place where I could puke all over the page. The contents of this vomit will comprise mostly of my narrow minded opinions of current and classic movies, the film industry, and American entertainment in general. The title of the blog is "Hollywood's Enema," and I find this appropriate given what I feel about many in the entertainment industry.

I actually accept Hollywood at face value, and do not hold most celebrities accountable for their eccentricities. Most of my criticisms of Hollywood, and of those on the outskirts, are over the quality of films they are making. I find myself disagreeing with critics half the time, and I suppose that discredits me a bit. But I am approaching the subject from that of a Christian fanboy, who thinks that sex belongs in porn, violence shouldn't be portrayed without showing the realities of death and the afterlife, and that leftist ideologues should save their opinions for their blogs and keep them out of mainstream entertainment.

And I absolutely, 100% garuntee to my readers that I will contradict myself.

(Hi mom!)